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Enneagram 3 is the achiever in the enneagram of personality. Their basic desire to be successful and to be seen as one. Thus, enneagram 3s will do everything in their power to succeed. Being colleagues or business partners with enneagram 3 is often inspiring. However, what can you expect from an enneagram 3 in love?
Let’s find out.
How does the Enneagram 3 Show that they Love You
So, how can you be sure that enneagram 3 actually cares about you? Here are some telling signs you shouldn’t miss.
1. They Care About How You See Them
Enneagram 3s are known to be obsessed with their self-image and how they are perceived. However, this goes up a notch when they are with people they actually love.
Enneagram 3s want their partners to see them as very capable and knowledgeable. Thus, they will often want to hear your opinions about them.
An enneagram 3 in love with you will be conscious about what you think about every aspect of their lives.
2. They Will Be Honest and Straight Forward
Enneagram 3s are often accused of using deceit and charm to get their way in life. However, an enneagram 3 in love will look the other way.
They will feel like they owe you an honest explanation for everything you ask for. They will also be very direct with you. There will be no games, no lies, or dodgy behavior.
With type 3s, they simply want you to trust them.
3. They Truly Listen
Type 3s are often in a rush to achieve success. Thus, they really struggle to listen to most people they know. However, when type 3s really do like you, this will be a stroll to them.
They will want to listen to you and know all about your goals and achievements.
This is actually one of the most important issues for enneagram 3s. They want to be with someone who amplifies their self-image. Thus, understanding your goals is very important to them.
4. They Will Try to Woo You
When type 3s want something, they don’t sit around. They go for it. This is the same thing with relationships. An enneagram 3 in love will initiate contact or communication if they like you.
They will try to woo you in whatever way they can. When an enneagram 3 likes or loves you, it will be crystal clear.
5. They Will Be Dependable
If an enneagram 3 loves you, they will prove to be reliable. Type 3s often show that they love you through their actions. Thus, you can expect them to take any step that will make you more comfortable in the relationship.
So, if your partner or someone you’re considering doesn’t do this as a type 3, that might be a red flag.
Struggles to Expect When dating an Enneagram 3
While dating a type 3 can be all fun, there are still some struggles you have to expect. Here are some of the more common ones.
1. Expressing Their Affections is Hard
While enneagram 3s are big on actions when proving their love, they often struggle with expressing it emotionally. However, this might be different if enneagram 3s are ENFJs.
However, the majority of type 3s might struggle with expressing their true feelings or being vulnerable with others.
If you are dating an enneagram 3, you need to give them time.
2. Insensitive
Apart from ENFJs who can also be type 3s, they can be quite insensitive. Thus, enneagram 3 might want to handle a relationship with rationality or logic.
While having thinkers as partners will complement this method perfectly, it can be difficult when dealing with feeler types.
They will want to express their feelings and emotions to a type 3. Type 3s are generally going to struggle to understand how their partner is feeling.
3. The Struggle to be Genuine
All their lives, type 3s have adapted to suit the environment they find themselves in. They have also adapted their speaking patterns and behavior to suit the many people they have met and connected with.
In the process, type 3s also lose a grip of who they really are and what they truly desire. Thus, when they are with their partners, it can be difficult to be true to themselves.
They will find it hard to just be themselves. Type 3s need to remember that their partners choose them and not the many achievements that they have acquired.
4. Future-oriented
Being future-oriented is one of the blessings of being a type 3. However, it can also be a curse in relationships.
Just like type 7s and type 8s, type 3s are trying to create plans and ideas that they hope to achieve in the future. While this can be exciting, it also means that they neglect conversations or being present. If these are things that their partners appreciate, things can be quite difficult.
5. Bad Work-Life Balance
Type 3s are often workaholics. These are just one of the sacrifices they make to reach their goals. If you are dating a type 3, this is one of the things you have to deal with.
Type 3s have to strive to create a balance. By doing so, they can be there for their families when they need them.
Who are the Natural Partners of Enneagram 3?
The natural partners for enneagram 3 are type 8s and type 9s. However, they can also be compatible with type 2, type 3, and Type 6s.
While this is true, any two mature persons can make a relationship work.
How to love the Enneagram 3
· Support Their Ambitions
As you probably already know, type 3s are very ambitious people. They have big dreams and grand visions that they want to achieve.
If you want to win the hearts of your type 3, support their goals. While supporting their goals, make sure that you help them sieve out the unrealistic parts of that vision.
It will make them appreciate you even more.
· Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch
When it comes to love languages, type 3s especially enjoy words of affirmation. They want to know that they have your acceptance. As their partner, your validation is even more important. Type 3 also enjoys having intimacy with their partners.
Show them these two love languages and you will have a happy relationship.
· Work Is Important To Them
If you are dating an enneagram 3, you have to realize that their work is important. So, when they are trying to work or focus, try not to distract them.
Type 3s pride themselves on being hard working. Thus, any distraction might prove to be very frustrating to a type 3.
· Make Sure They Get Enough Rest
While type 3s might seem like superhumans, they experience burnouts like the rest of us. So, make sure that your partner takes at least a day off once in a while.
By doing so, they will be refreshed and ready to take on the world. While they might seem frustrated at first, they will really appreciate this kind gesture.
How to Become Better in your Relationship as an Enneagram 3
Wondering how you can improve your relationship as a type 3? Here are some practical tips
1. Good Work-Life Balance
While your career and being successful are important to you, it might do you a world of good if you maintain a balance between work and your life.
It will help you achieve success in both areas of your life.
2. Relax the Façade Sometimes
We know that you have been judged all your lives by your achievements. However, when you are with your partner, try to be you and only you. If your partner wants otherwise, they are not the right one for you.
3. Stay Mentally Healthy
Finally, make sure that you stay healthy mentally. It’s easy to slip into your unhealthy traits when frustrated. If you ever feel overwhelmed, then you should see a therapist. Online-therapy might be a great option. You should probably check them out.
Overall, if your partner is type 3, you can be sure that they do anything they can to keep you happy.
