Enneagram 8 in Love- What to Expect in a Relationship


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Enneagram 8 is known as the hero or the protector. Their basic desire in life to be in control of their life and to have a measure of power. They will resist any attempt to control their lives and micro-manage them. So what happens when type 8s fall in love? Here’s what to expect from an enneagram 8 in love.

How Does The Enneagram 8 Show That They Love You?

Certain things can be a signal that an enneagram 8 loves you.

1.      They Will Help You Reach Your Goals

When they are in love, type 8s tend to be very supportive partners. They tend to show this by helping their partners reach their peak.

Whatever you need to be successful, type 8s are always there to lend a helping hand. Sometimes, type 8s can even help their partners when they are discouraged or demotivated to keep their plans going.

The enneagram 8 in love is a very reliable partner.

2.      They are Fiercely Loyal

For type 8s, being in love is another word for loyalty. They are fiercely loyal to the ones that they love.

Because of this loyalty, they will be willing to go all out to make sure their partner is comfortable. It will also be very difficult for them to actually betray their partners.

For them, being loyal means being faithful and honest with their partners. That is the mantra of the enneagram 8.

3.      Very Generous People

With type 8s, being generous comes very easily when they are in love. They want their partner to be very happy and comfortable.

When type 8s are with their partners, they look very much like type 2. This makes sense as this is the type they slide to when they are healthy.

An enneagram 8 in love is always going to care for their partners with everything that they have.

4.      They Are Going To Fight for Their Partners

If you have a type 8 as a partner, you have someone ready to fight tooth and nail for you. Type 8s treat their partners as a family even though they are not married to them.

They are going to do everything that they can to make sure that their family remains safe and sound. If that includes dying, then, so be it.

5.      You Are Going To Have Their Undivided Attention

An enneagram 8 in love will always give their partners their full attention. To type 8s, their partners are usually the most exciting and interesting people in the world.

So, they are going to be interested in what they have to say. You can be sure that you will always have their full attention.

6.      They Are Going To Be Interested In You

Type 8s are interested in whoever they fall in love with. Thus, they are going to try to find out how you tick, your likes and dislikes, and many other things.

They will want to know your friends, what you eat and when you sleep.

They want to know how you think about everything. Fascination is part of type 8’s love for their partner and they are going to explore it to the full.

Related Article- Enneagram Type 8- The Hero/Heroine

Struggles To Expect When Dating an Enneagram 8

If you are dating a type 8, here are some struggles you can expect to face in the relationship.

1.      Insensitive

Type 8s are known to be thinkers or lovers of logic. This generally means that they are going to make decisions based on rational thinking.

This can be a bit difficult to understand when dealing with people who place emotions first. Type 8s will often come across as insensitive and harsh to their partners.

This feeling can lead to a lot of problems in the relationship.

2.      Distrustful

Type 8s are always trying to avoid being controlled by others. This can easily make them distrustful of others. This lack of trust can even extend to their relationship.

It takes a long time for type 8s to fully trust their partners. This can make their partners feel hurt or even undervalued.

3.      They find it hard to express their feelings

Even an enneagram 8 in love will battle with this problem. Type 8s generally find it hard to express their feelings clearly.

They will often prefer to show how they feel in words. This can be hard for other types to understand. It’s even more difficult if type 8s initially made the effort to express themselves more at the beginning of the relationship.

4.      Not Willing To Give Up Control

Enneagram 8s always like to be in control of their lives. This often means that they will have problems with giving up control.

To do this, type 8s must have a measure of trust that you will be able to captain the ship when they relinquish control. That feeling does not come easily.

Who Are the Natural Partners of the Enneagram 8?

The natural romantic partner of the enneagram 8 are type 9 and type 2. However, type 8s can also be compatible with type 3 and type 6.

However, any two mature persons can make a relationship work regardless of their personality type.

How to Love the Enneagram 8

Are you a partner of enneagram 8? If you are, here are a few things that type 8s will really appreciate.

·         Truly Listen to Them

Type 8s have difficulty expressing how they feel emotionally. So, when they do, really listen to what they say. If type 8s believe that you are not truly listening to them, they will find it even harder to open up to you in the future.

So, take those moments to understand your partner even more.

·         Physical Touch and Acts of Service

Two love languages are peculiar to type 8s. They are physical touch and acts of service. Type 8s carry a lot of burden in their lives. So, take some off them. They will be delighted.

Also, physical touch is one way that type 8s seek connection with those they love. It is also one situation where they can surrender control.

So, don’t be shy of being closer to your partner.

·         Give Them Space

Type 8s are also called the challenger. This means that they are going to take on tasks and succeed. This also means that they are going to need time to carry out those tasks.

Giving your type 8 time then is very crucial. If you give them enough space, they will be happy to come back to you every single day.

·         Communicate Directly

Type 8s like to talk directly and bluntly. This does not change even though with an enneagram 8 in love.

Thus, talking in a really direct way will make the enneagram 8 respect you. They will also be able to solve any issues you might have quicker.

Trying to beat around the bush with the enneagram 8 will make them really impatient and angry.

·         Trust Them

Trust is important to type 8s. They want to know that they can trust their partners and vice versa.

If you do not trust your type 8, they will be hurt and might even end the relationship. To them, trusting them completely is one of their non-negotiables.

How to Become Better In Relationships as an Enneagram 8

1.      Be More Patient

You have to understand that people are not like you. Most people need time to process how they feel and cannot give answers as fast as you do.

So, learn to be patient. Give people a chance to collect their thoughts. That will allow them to explain themselves better to you.

2.      Be More Sensitive

While you feel logic is better, your partner might want more emotionally. So, try to work on that side of your personality. By doing this, you can become an even better version of yourself.

3.      Trust Your Partner

Learn to trust your partner more. If you don’t, then you are more likely not to be completely open and vulnerable with them. An enneagram 8 in love that is vulnerable with their partner experiences growth in many different ways.

Enneagram 8s are the protectors in life. If you have one in your life, then you certainly have a good thing there.


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