Enneagram 9 in Love- What to Expect In A Relationship

enneagram 9 in love

Enneagram 9 is often called the peacemaker or the mediator. This means that their desire is to live in complete harmony with the people they care about. They absolutely hate conflict and will often run away from one. So what happens when this type falls in love? It’s the enneagram 9 in love in full focus today.

How Does The Enneagram 9 Show That They Love You?

So how do you know if an enneagram 9 absolutely adores you? Here are some really good pointers to know an enneagram 9 in love with you.

1.      They Will Support You

The enneagram 9 is someone who values relationship and the connections it brings. Thus, they are very supportive people. In a relationship, their partners can expect to get support from type 9s always.

They are also very loyal people. This means that you can expect them to be loyal even in the harshest of conditions.

2.      Accommodating

This type will also want to nurture and completely understand their partners. Because of their need for harmony, they will often yield to the requests of their partners. These requests might even include adjusting their moral and personal beliefs. This is one way in which type 9 will show they love you.

3.      They Give You Peace

This type is always looking to build an environment with their partner that is devoid of conflicts and all other issues. This means that they will do as much as possible to ensure that conflicts are reduced to their bare minimum.

If you have a hectic day at work or things just didn’t go well, type 9s are the perfect people to nurture you and show you all the support you need.

4.      They Make You Their Priority

Once type 9s agree to be with you, you are now their priority. This means that they put you first always. Sometimes, you might even be put first over their own needs.

When type 9s love, they love with everything they have. This makes them one hell of a partner.

Some Struggles You Can Expect If Dating an Enneagram 9

Like all types, the enneagram 9 is going to have some struggles in a relationship. These troubles are most times related to their inner desires and fears.

Let’s look at some of them.

1.      Conflict Averse

If there is one thing type 9s want to avoid at all times, it’s conflict. However, sometimes, avoiding conflict is simply not possible.

There are serious matters that have to be discussed between partners in a relationship. The fear of conflict might make type 9 run away from these issues.

They might also try to sidestep the issue and respond with passive-aggressiveness if you insist on discussing it.

2.      Complacent

A lot of things can happen when the type 9 is under stress. One of them is complacency. Type 9s get complacent when things don’t go the way they plan.

This can affect their study habits, relationship with others, and other aspects of their lives. Thus, type 9s might begin to give less of themselves in relationships.

In some extreme cases, they might even begin to take their partners for granted.

3.      Not Having a Voice

Type 9s are on a quest to avoid disunity in their lives. Thus, they might be tempted to simply go with the flow with most things in life. This can quickly see their voices in their relationship silenced. They might also struggle to actually do the things they like.

Who Are The Natural Partners Of Enneagram 9?

The natural partners of type 9 are type 1 or type 8. Type 9s are so accommodating. This means that they can be partners to a lot of enneagram types.

They are truly the ideal partners in the enneagram of personality.

Enneagram 9 in Love- How to Love the Enneagram 9

Are you married or dating a type 9? If you are, here are some ways you can show them how much you really care.

·         Patience

If you want to be with type 9, you have to develop a lot of patience. While they might seem like chronic people-pleasers, type 9s are actually really stubborn.

They will seek to avoid being controlled through subtle means of resistance. Therefore, your advice might be taken the wrong way sometimes.

You will also need patience when they are going through emotional issues. Type 9s want someone who will be with them through good and bad times.

If you show them how supportive you are, they will not leave your side.

·         Words of Affirmation and Quality Time

Two of the most popular love languages associated with type 9 are quality time and words of affirmation.

This means that type 9s want to spend time with you. They want you to listen to them and accept their emotions. The truth is type 9s see their partners as someone that they can be free with.

They want to tell their partners those opinions they fear might lead to issues. So, make sure you listen to them and affirm their opinions.

This will give them the courage to carry on.

·         Emotional Support

Type 9s are known to give lots of emotional support to people who need it. This doesn’t mean that they are invincible. They also want to be supported during times that are rough for them.

If you are a partner of type 9, you should take out time to tell them you are there for them and be their pillar when they need it.

·         Be Their Number One Fan

The world often forgets the work type 9s put in just to make sure everything works perfectly. This can take a toll on their self-confidence and worth.

So, be their number one fan. Be the one person that totally trusts them and their capabilities. Encourage your type 9 to aim for the skies. An enneagram 9 in love will deeply cherish these moments.

How to Make Your Relationship Better As an Enneagram 9

1.      Be Open to Conflicts

Try to understand that conflicts do not necessarily lead to stress or chaos. Sometimes, it allows you to know your partner well and grow in the relationship.

So, give conflict a chance sometimes.

2.      Stop Being Passive-Aggressive

If there’s one thing that can worsen a situation, it’s being passive-aggressive. You have to understand that this is just another method of being in conflict. It causes nothing but more pain.

Make it a point to always address serious problems when they arise. Allowing it to fester will simply cause more problems.

3.      Express Yourself

It’s easy to keep your opinions to yourself when you are a type 9. However, this will often leave you without a voice. So, make sure you express yourself clearly in a relationship.

It does not mean you have to say something immediately after an issue comes up. Take reasonable time alone to think of how you feel about it.

Then, express yourself in a calm and non-judgmental way to your partner.

4.      Don’t Be Afraid To Be Who You Really Are

While being accommodating in a relationship is great, don’t be afraid to be who you are. Do not compromise important standards just to fit in with your partners.

Keep to your values and principles. They are what really makes you who you are.

An enneagram 9 in love is a vibrant happy type. Understanding how you interact when you are in love will only make your relationship better.

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