I’ve grown up, everyone’s got to grow up. But there’s something inside me, I’m always going to have that little sort of – how do you say?- Prince
Are you self-aware and reserved? Do you enjoy finding out your true identity and life’s meaning? Do you often withdraw from people for fear of getting hurt or feeling vulnerable? Perhaps you see yourself as a unique person with special gifts and talents?
Then, you’re most likely a type four.
In-depth Description of the Enneagram Type 4
These people are the Individualists. This is because they seek solace in their identity by believing that they are different from everyone else. They believe that they are a special kind of people. Therefore, others can’t understand them adequately or love them the way they deserve.
Like many other types, type fours know their deficiencies, weaknesses, and personal differences. Healthy type fours are very honest about their experiences. They own up to their feelings and identify the motives behind them, alongside contradictions and emotional conflicts. They don’t try to whitewash or deny any of the facts.
When it comes to personal development and finding fulfillment in life, type fours are up for it. They are ready to reveal very personal and shameful details about themselves if it will help them become better or heal from past traumatic experiences.
It helps them to understand their mind and emotional history.
Because they love separating themselves from the crowd, they can go through painful experiences silently without letting close ones know. They can go through experiences that will normally drain other types peacefully and quietly.
Type fours often feel that there is something wrong with their lives or that something is missing, but they can’t quite identify what it is. Can it be self-confidence, social tranquility, or emotional tranquility? They can’t figure it out but they see other types radiating in these qualities.
If you give them time and a clear social perspective, they’d realize that they have an unclear image about themselves, and they learn to live with that.
However, type fours battle with low self-esteem and poor self-image. They try to manage it by creating an imaginary self-image of who they wished to be like. But because they don’t put in the work or fail to pursue that dream, they feel like they’ve lost a sense of their identity.
Also, since type fours believe that there is something wrong with them, they don’t enjoy good qualities. A lot of them prefer to play the suffering victim.
Type fours are very artistic because they enjoy expressing themselves and finding out their true identities. This is why they thrive so well in artistic industries, like film-making and art.
They can push themselves to do something very well so that they can find out if it suits them or fits their personality.
Type fours believe that they are very unique people, and indeed, a good number of them have proven that they are. This is why they made such good impressions on people when it comes to fashion, interests, or unconventional lifestyle habits.
Contrary to popular opinion, type fours don’t try to do things to stand out or gain popularity like type threes. They only love experimenting because it makes them feel like they’re filling a void in their lives.
Type fours are very honest about their experiences. They are willing to share personal experiences either to understand themselves better or to help someone on their journey.
The things they reveal will make other types feel shameful or embarrassed, but they don’t care. They are ready to do what it takes to become emotionally independent and self-aware.
No Identity or Personal Significance
Type fours always feel like they have no identity or lack basic qualities. They may try to look attractive and okay in front of others, but deep down, they are unsure of who they are or what they want in life.
Because they want to create a stable identity from their emotions, they cultivate certain ideologies and reject others. Look out for someone that always says, “That can never be me” or “That’s not my personality”.
Type fours often battle with low self-esteem and low confidence because they lack identity or haven’t found fulfillment in themselves. They feel other types are living an ideal life or having fun the way they want to.
Can’t Let Go of the Past Easily
Even though type fours can be very expressive with their experiences, they find it hard to let go of the painful ones. They hold onto wounds and negative feelings about those that have wronged them.
The bad part is that they hold on to disappointment, anger, and frustration for a long time. They are too bothered about the things missing in their lives that they fail to recognize the blessings and treasures that come their way.
Enneagram Type 4 and Wings
Enneagram type four has two wings- type 3 and type 5
4w3– Enneagram 4w3s are people who act very similarly to type threes. They are very driven, energetic, and motivated people compared to their counterparts. Enneagram 4 tries to make an impact in this world, but they occasionally withdraw themselves for fear of feeling vulnerable or getting hurt.
They are very conscious of their image. Type 4 makes efforts to be sociable as well. These people normally thrive when working in entertainment, photography, broadcast journalism.
4w5– These people act similarly to type 5 as well. They are very reserved and intellectual people. They seek to understand the world deeply and make an impact in little ways they can. Most times, they withdraw themselves and focus on their mental states.
These people thrive in literature, graphics design, and music. Read more about 4w5 here.
How to Communicate With Type Fours
1. Have Discussions With Them That Boost their Self-esteem
Because they always battle with low self-esteem, it’s super important that you discuss things with them that lead to growth. Don’t use condescending words and don’t look down at their abilities.
2. Encourage Them to Speak About Things Immediately
As mentioned earlier, type fours hold grudges a lot. They can nurse wounds for years. Encourage them to speak up about things they hate when they have the opportunity. They shouldn’t wait for years to go by.
3. Listen to Their Personal Experiences
Type fours see sharing personal experiences as a therapeutic exercise. Encourage them by listening attentively.
Enneagram Type 4 and Possible Job interests
Type fours are very expressive and creative people, so they need jobs that can help them express their feelings and withdraw to themselves when they need to
- Fitness instructor
- Broadcast journalism
- Graphics design
Enneagram Type 4 and Jobs to Avoid
These careers feel too restrictive for type fours
- Executive assistants
- Financial secretary
- Political analysts
Famous People/Characters that are Enneagram Type 4
- Billie Eilish
- Frida Kahlo
- Bob Dylan
- Johnny Depp
- Amy Winehouse
- Prince Charles
- Stevie Nicks
- Joni Mitchell
- Rapunzel (Rapunzel)
- Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)
How Enneagram Type 4 People Can Stay Healthy
1. Your Feelings Shouldn’t Decide Your Actions
From experience, you should realize that feelings are unreliable. It’s very easy to equate yourself with your feelings, and type fours fall guilty of that.
Remember that your current feelings only tell you what you are at that point. They don’t define your life.
2. Boost Your Self-esteem at All Costs
Whether you like it or not, you can only increase your self-confidence and boost your self-esteem when you get the right experiences. Those positive experiences will only come when you allow it. So, get rid of the negative ones.
3. Don’t Have Long Conversations in Your Head
Lengthy imaginary conversations will do you more harm than good, especially if they are resentful, romantic, or negative ones. They are not real. You will only hate yourself more when you can’t bring those imaginations to life.
You deserve better, but you must be ready to embrace the right experiences.