How to Get a Narcissist to Stop Ignoring You

a woman in a yellow shirt and hat standing in the sand

Do you want to know how to get a narcissist to stop ignoring you? You’re in the right place.

Narcissists typically withdraw affection and ignore people when they have wronged them. Silent treatment is one of their many tools. They know how damaging it can be to the recipient’s mental health and self-esteem. What do you do in such a case?

This article will explore how to get a narcissist to stop ignoring you without racking your brain too much.

Why Does the Narcissist Ignore You?

1.   Control

Narcissists usually ignore people to control the relationship or manipulate the relationship dynamics. When they withdraw communication, and the other person starts feeling anxious, they can relay their unconditional terms.

The recipient will now do whatever they want to restore the relationship balance, sometimes to their detriment.

2.   Punishment

One common reason narcissists ignore people is to punish them for wrongdoing. The gravity of the offense doesn’t matter. The narcissist will ignore to punish you for the tiniest offenses or to retaliate.

Sometimes, they can even punish you for speaking out against their wrongdoings. For instance, if they do something you don’t like and you call them out against it, they will ignore you to make you feel guilty for speaking against them.

3.   Emotional Regulation

Sometimes, narcissists ignore people to preserve themselves. They distance themselves when they meet people or situations that force them to engage in emotional confrontations.

Such situations typically force them to engage in uncomfortable conversations, so ignoring everyone is a coping mechanism. It may seem like a counterintuitive measure, but it works for them.

4.   To Escape Accountability

Nobody runs away from accountability like the narcissist. Telling them their fault is like placing a mirror before them and forcing them to look at their reflection. Once you state their fault, they will ignore you manipulate your emotions, and make you feel bad for talking to them.

That way, you won’t have the courage to call them out next time.

5.   Testing Emotional Dependence

Sometimes, the narcissist will intentionally ignore you to test how emotionally dependent you are on them. If you become insecure, uncertain, and anxious, the narcissist will capitalize on them to manipulate and use you. That way, they can reinforce or strengthen their importance in your life.

6.   Image Maintenance

Narcissists typically believe that they’re better than everyone else. So, every action is geared towards maintaining a superior or dominant image. When they ignore people, it gives them a certain superiority complex and unconsciously diverts other people’s attention to them.

7.   Unnecessary Drama Creation

Sometimes, the narcissist just wants to create drama and attract all the attention. Deep down, they enjoy the attention they receive when ghosting or ignoring other people because it feeds their ego and increases their self-importance. They enjoy basking in the chaos they create.

8.   Leverage

Some narcissists withhold their emotions and ignore people to gain leverage. This scenario applies to every relationship, but it’s often seen in romantic relationships. When they withhold affection, and the victim approaches them, they can now use that as leverage to get what they want (even if it goes against the victim’s wishes)

How to Get a Narcissist to Stop Ignoring You

If you’re tired of walking on eggshells around the narcissist, hoping for a response, here’s what you should do instead:

1.   Understand how Narcissism Operates

The first step to getting a narcissist to stop ignoring you is to understand the psychology of narcissism. Narcissists don’t ignore people for the same reasons others do. There’s usually an ulterior motive that’s not initially perceived.

Some people will encourage you to have an open and honest dialogue with the narcissist, but that’s futile. Understand that narcissists are self-centered and always want their right of way. There’s no point unless the narcissist is self-aware and desires to change.

2.   Set Boundaries

The next step is to establish and communicate your boundaries. State what you’re willing or not willing to accept. Ideally, you should establish these boundaries before you get into any relationship, whether they’re narcissistic or not.

But if you didn’t, you should use this silence period to restructure your relationship and draw out rules suitable to both parties, and there should also be solid consequences for any party that breaks them.

3.   Focus on Other Things

Dealing with a narcissist who constantly ignores you can be frustrating, but who says that has to be the focus of your day?

Focus on other things that make you happy. Sometimes, we get so consumed with our relationships that we lose vital aspects of ourselves. Take up an art you used to love in your childhood. Visit your family members and loved ones. Pick up a new hobby.

4.   Ignore them Back

Yes, that’s right!

Narcissists ignore you because they want to engage your emotions. They want to know how far you will stretch for their attention. They will use you to their advantage once they know you’re emotionally attached.

But you don’t have to go that route. You don’t have to go lower with a narcissist when they go low. Return the favor instead. Give them the silent treatment and go about your day unfazed.

5.   Reduce Your Emotional Investment

This act may be hard to do, especially if you’re in a romantic relationship with a narcissist. But you have to try. Sometimes, we get hurt by our expectations of people, not their actions. We believe that we can change them or that they will change over time.

Narcissists hardly change unless they’re self-aware and take proactive steps to change (which rarely happens). When they consistently ignore you, remove your emotional investment so their actions don’t hurt you as much.

6.   Never Blame Yourself for Their Behavior

When the narcissist ignores you, it’s normal to start blaming yourself for their behavior. You’d wonder if speaking or acting a certain way was the right thing to do. But don’t do that. That’s what the narcissist wants. He wants to manipulate you into thinking you’re the problem, especially if you usually keep him accountable.

Narcissists typically treat everyone the same. They enjoy twisting situations to their advantage. So always remind yourself that you’re never responsible for their actions.

7.   Have a Solid Support System

When you give the narcissist some space after they’ve ignored you for a long time, you may feel like repairing the breach or giving in to the narcissist’s desires.

Build a strong support system to stand by you during this time. They must thoroughly understand your situation and be willing to support you.

Ideally, this support system should consist of people who know the narcissist’s behavior or those who have dealt with narcissists at some point in their lives.

8.   Go for Therapy

You should see a therapist if you’ve consistently gotten anxious and fearful whenever the narcissist ignores you.

Sometimes, we can tolerate narcissistic actions so much that it hurts our self-esteem and worth before we realize it. Narcissists ensure that they break our will so that we will always conform to theirs. If you have endured the cycle for years and are now willing to change, therapy can help you re-evaluate your life choices and make better decisions moving forward.

Final Words

Now that you know how to get a narcissist to stop ignoring you, will you commit to these strategies?

Dealing with narcissists can be annoying, but people often focus so much on changing the narcissist than healing themselves. Always focus on doing things that please you first before responding to the narcissist’s manipulative schemes.

The key is to set personal boundaries and limit contact. Only engage in dialogue when the narcissist is proactively making an effort to change.


Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) on Narcissists

How Do You Make a Narcissist Listen to You?

Relay your points respectively. Always be calm and never resort to name-calling or arguments because that’s the narcissist’s stronghold. Never allow the narcissist to turn the conversation in their favor.

How Do You Make a Narcissist Miss You So Much?

Stay away from them for a while. Act like they don’t exist. They will yearn for your attention.

What Words Make a Narcissist Feel Bad?

Words and phrases like, “You’re not as exceptional as you think you are” or “You’re not all that” can hurt the narcissist’s ego.

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