INFJ Dark Side- Understanding the Unhealthy INFJ

INFJs are the mysterious type in the MBTI typology. It almost feels like you can never know enough of them. INFJs are often portrayed as warm, empathetic, and sensitive. However, the INFJ dark side can bring out the worst in them. 

In this article, we’ll consider how to pinpoint when an INFJ is unhealthy, and how they can pull themselves out of this loop. 

What is the INFJ Dark Side?

This is the unhealthy INFJ. INFJs become unhealthy when faced with deeply upsetting situations. This can also be caused by trauma, grief, and other similar situations. 

Now, the INFJ dark side should not be mistaken for weaknesses of the INFJ. When an INFJ is unhealthy or toxic, they exhibit a distinct set of traits that are very different from an average INFJ. 

If you are close to an INFJ, this can be shocking and hard to deal with. However, learning more about the INFJ dark side can be of tremendous help. 

Top Signs of an Unhealthy INFJ

1. Manipulative

INFJs gets a lot of good rep for being the good guys. They are portrayed as understanding and warm. One of their leading functions is the extroverted feeling (Fe). So, they usually understand people’s emotions and intentions. 

When the INFJ is unhealthy, they use these abilities in a terrible way. They learn all they can about people and use it to manipulate them. 

Thus, they can make people do things they hate and make it look good. Manipulative INFJs are dangerous to deal with. 

If you feel you are becoming manipulative, then it’s a big sign you are experiencing the INFJ dark side. 

2. Self-Centered

INFJ’s empathetic nature goes down the drain when they are unhealthy. They become more self-absorbed and self-centered. 

The once sympathetic person suddenly feels like they have the largest problems. They become caught in a bubble where they only see their issues and neglect their loved ones. 

This is one trap that unhealthy INFJs face because of their idealistic tendencies. They expect things to go a certain way and can’t deal with bad situations.

So, they start thinking they are always on the losing side. That can easily lead to envy and a truckload of other issues. 

3. Cold/Cruel

The INFJ dark side can make INFJs cold and cruel. The once loving INFJs will become extremely calculating. This, combined with their manipulative tendencies can make them seem ruthless and insensitive. 

If you feel like you no longer care about people and the consequences of your actions as an INFJ, then there’s a big problem. 

4. Angry Outbursts

INFJs are super introverts. Because of this, the INFJ is not usually associated with having a hot temper. However, an unhealthy INFJ will be hot-tempered. 

They will react emotionally to issues and will be much more aggressive. At this point, the unhealthy INFJ will look a lot like a subdued ESTP, just more scary. 

5. Detached

INFJs are usually accused of being self-absorbed. However, that title usually goes to the INTPs. INFJs have a well-developed Fe. So, they usually love talking to people especially when the conversation is good. 

So, a detached INFJ is a bad sign. Usually, this happens when they are either stressed or simply not interested in conversations. 

In worst-case scenarios, it can be a sign of depression or heartbreak. An INFJ who stays detached for too long can easily lose touch with their sympathetic side. 

6. Overly Complacent

INFJs do not get the highest scores when it comes to work ethic (except you’re are INFJ 1w2). So, they are bound to be a lot of complacent or lazy moments. 

However, there’s a line to that complacency. INFJs are usually very organized. So, when you see an INFJ that’s extremely complacent, scattered, and disorganized, that’s usually not normal. 

It might be a sign of depression or something just as serious. If you notice this as an INFJ, it might be time to seize control of your life. 

7. Craving for Attention

INFJs are usually okay with listening to others talk. They are effective communicators and want to know more about the other person. 

An unhealthy INFJ might be a bit different. They might fish for compliments or brag about their achievements. This is usually a sign of low self-esteem. Here, the INFJ needs to hear good things about themselves to feel confident. 

INFJs are usually very independent people. So, this is a deviation from their normal standards. 

How to Get Out of the INFJ Dark Side

So, what if you are currently experiencing one or more of these problems? Here are some ways you can fight the INFJ dark side. 

1. Reevaluate yourself

The first step is to have a full reevaluation. Consider what your values were and if they have changed. You should also consider if you have been living up to those principles. 

Make sure this reevaluation is as objective as possible. Get some of your friends to give you an objective analysis of your recent behavior. Just taking this step will allow you to imagine how people see and perceive your actions. 

2. Talk to Someone

You can also talk to someone. This can be a good friend or family member. Be honest with them and just say how you feel. 

You can ask them for their honest feedback. Just talking to someone can help you reduce all that energy you have pent up inside. 

3. See a Therapist

The best advice will be to see a therapist. They are trained to handle issues relating to depression or unhealthy traits. A good platform to start with is the online therapy platform. 

They have qualified therapists who are always willing to help. You should probably give it a try. 

4. Try to Take Back Control

Finally, take back control of your life. Situations can seem extremely challenging and overwhelming. 

However, make sure you have a tight grasp over your life. By having better control, you set yourself up for success. 

Everyone will go through rough patches during their lifetime. With a bit of luck and effort, you should be able to overcome it. 

Ejike Umesi is the owner of Personality Hunt. He is an ENTP, lawyer and is very enthusiastic about psychology. In his spare time, he can be seen watching football or reading more about the enneagrams!

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