INFP and ENFJ Relationships- Crazy Stupid Love


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INFP and ENFJ relationships are always billed to be the perfect love story. If you search the internet long enough, you’ll probably see some articles calling it a “match in heaven.”

Well, is it that flawless for both parties? Well, that’s really what we are here to find out. This article will tell you everything you need to know about the INFP and ENFJ relationships.

Why They Might Be Attracted to Each Other

There are a few reasons why these personality types are attracted to each other.

Why the INFP will be Attracted to the ENFJ

1.      Nurturing Nature of the ENFJ

ENFJ’s superpower is the ability to make you feel heard. This is all down to their dominant function extroverted feeling (Fe).

The INFP is one type that loves affectionate partners. They want to be loved and showed love in many ways.

INFP are also idealists. So, the caring nature of the ENFJ fits perfectly into their idea of how partners should treat each other.

2.     Charisma

Just like the relationship with the ENTP, the INFP will be awestruck by the charisma of the ENFJ. They’ll love how they get along with people and how popular they are.

INFPs are much more reserved and don’t have the energy to be the center of attention. ENFJs do and INFPs love that about them.

3.      Listening Skills

INFPs have a lot on their mind. They just don’t tell anyone. Sometimes, this is because nobody seems to be interested.

ENFJs are truly interested in people. This craving is heightened when they love someone. Thus, ENFJs will give the INFPs all the attention they really crave.

It’ll feel like heaven to them.

4.      Decisiveness

ENFJs are usually more decisive than INFPs. This shows when they are leading people or conquering the world.

Most INFPs (with some exceptions) are indecisive. ENFJs help them to become more self-confident. This is especially true if we are dealing with a turbulent INFP.

5.      Seeking Peace

Except for the ENFJ 3w2, ENFJs are natural peacemakers. This means that they are less confrontational about things.

They also don’t really hold grudges. INFPs are mediators. They are also not looking to start a big argument. This is a prospect that is quite attractive to the INFP.

Why the ENFJ will be Attracted to the INFP

1.      Deep Conversations

ENFJs want to have a deep connection with their partners. They want deep conversations that get to the very soul of their partner. INFPs live for this also.

When they first meet, their conversations will be intense and absolutely incredible. This will continue as they are both intuitive.

ENFJs will never get enough of it.

2.      INFP fits their caring agenda

ENFJs love to take care of people. They are generous with their time and want to help others succeed.

While this is a good thing, some personality types do not like to be fussed over. INFPs won’t mind if it is someone that they find attractive.

In fact, they welcome it. ENFJs will have their care and affection continually accepted by their partner.

3.      Non-Judgmental

ENFJs want a partner that can accept them for who they are. INFPs are that partner. They can listen and understand what their partner has experienced in the past without judging them.

For the INFP, what happens now and in the future is more important. That’s crazy wild for the ENFJ.

Strengths of the Relationship

1.      Similar Ideals

INFP and ENFJ meet in their ideals. They are so similar. INFPs want to be free and independent. They want to follow their passions and make an impact in the lives of people. ENFJs are similar.

They want to inspire people to greatness and give them the best they can. The crucial part here is both types want to do this the same way.

They put people first and want to help humanity, not just the world. They also have the same view on life. They are both laid back and relaxed.

So, there’s hardly any conflict in their relationship. Clearly, INFP and ENFJ relationships can be truly amazing.

2.      Self-Development

Both types are interested in developing themselves. INFPs want to have the right skill to succeed in their passion.

ENFJs are very driven people. The need for self-development is one way to achieve their targets. Because they both want to develop themselves, their career paths will be flawless.

They will understand and appreciate the other’s drive.

3.      The Need to Please Each Other

I never thought that I’d say people-pleasing is a strength. In this case, it is. Both types are committed to peace. They do not want chaos or confrontations.

Thus, they are more likely to go ahead with what the other person wants. So, instead of looking to see their desires fulfilled, they work to please each other.

This creates an environment where each person works hard to meet the other person’s standards. Both parties will be happy and feel truly appreciated. It’s perfect.

4.      Love Languages Blend

Love languages refer to the way people show and receive love. INFPs usually have quality time and physical touch as their top two love languages. Words of affirmation is also popular with this type.

With ENFJs, words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time are essential. Their love languages blend perfectly.

Thus, it’ll be an endless flow of love.

5.      Open Display of Affection

Both types love intimacy and are not afraid to show it. So, cuddles and hugs will be in abundance. Neither type will be afraid of rejection.

You should note the difference between this and public display of affection (PDA). INFPs might not necessarily want excessive PDA.

6.      Communication Style

The communication style of both types is also a strength here. INFPs and ENFJs approach conversation in a non-confrontational manner.

I think what helps here is they already have a reputation of being kind and polite. Thus, the other partner is less likely to judge their words as intentionally hurtful.

Both types also do not like conflict. So, they are more likely to avoid situations that lead to a quarrel.

Another angle to this is their listening skills. ENFJs have excellent listening skills. This is even more remarkable because they take the initiative in conversations.

INFPs might be reserved but can talk a lot when they feel comfortable. ENFJs love to hear people talk about themselves.

So, INFPs will wait for the ENFJ to start a conversation. They will then talk a lot while the ENFJ listens to them. Rinse and repeat.

Weaknesses of the Relationship

While there are obviously a lot of strengths, several subtle problems abound.

1.      Conflict-Averse

While the need for harmony and peace stops both types from being confrontational, it can also lead to problems.

In a relationship, big issues need to be addressed. Because both types like to sweep things under a rug, these issues might never be addressed.

Both types can also be building up resentment against each other without ever speaking out.

This resentment will keep growing until eventually there’s a big outburst. Both types will say horrible things. The idealistic INFP will realize their relationship is not as perfect as they thought.

ENFJs will wonder what they did wrong. There will be hurt and chaos.

2.      Different Levels of Energy

INFP and ENFJ both have different levels of energy. While the INFP loves the charismatic nature of ENFJs, it doesn’t mean they can match it.

Thus, while ENFJs want to go to events and socialize, INFPs have a limited battery. So, they can’t go out every time and connect with people.

ENFJs will want that. INFPs will refuse. ENFJs might struggle to understand why they don’t want to go out to these events. INFPs will not budge.

If not handled well, it can create an ugly situation.

3.      Messy/Organized

This is where the judging and perceiving functions clash. INFPs are spontaneous people. They want to keep things moving.

While this function can help them do incredible things, it also means they can be messy and disorganized. This does not mean that all perceivers are disorganized. The likelihood is simply higher.

ENFJs are more likely to be organized and structured. This creates a problem specifically for the ENFJ. INFPs will surely mess up their plans and possibly their environment. This can be annoying.

It’s something that both types will have to find a way around.

4.      ENFJs Spreading Themselves Thin

ENFJs are the people’s person. They love interacting with people. If paired with enneagram 2, it becomes worse.

They want to be there for everyone who matters to them. They also want to keep in touch with acquaintances. This often means that they spread themselves too thin.

When this happens, they start to neglect the INFP. Things like quality time or physical intimacy become harder because the ENFJ is too exhausted at the end.

If this continues, the relationship is sure to come to an abrupt halt.

How to Make the Relationship Work

·        Respect Each Other’s Energy Levels

Both types need to respect their energy levels. This is more or less a balancing act. Thus, while the INFP will understand the ENFJ’s need to socialize, ENFJs should get the perspective of the INFP too.

This can easily be done if the ENFJ uses their Fe efficiently.

·        Put Your Partner First

This generally applies more to the ENFJ. You should actively put your partner first in action and words. Thus, put the events and plans you have with your partner first before anyone’s tasks.

By doing so, your INFP partner has no doubt about how you see them and the relationship.


An INFP and ENFJ relationship is undoubtedly one of the easier relationships. With just a bit of effort and understanding, things should work out just fine.


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