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INFP and INTJ are more similar than you think. So, what happens in an INFP and INTJ relationship?
This article will tell you all about it. First, let’s find out why both types might attract each other.
Why the INFP and INTJ will Feel Attracted to Each Other
Why the INFP Will Find the INTJ Attractive
1. Deep Conversations
INFPs strive for meaningful conversations. So, when they see this in the INTJ, they are bound to be interested.
Their interest is further heightened when they see the different perspectives they bring to the table.
This will ignite the spark.
2. Their Amazing Work ethic
INTJs are hard workers. They usually have a plan and work their socks off to execute them.
INFPs might not be lazy, but their work ethic is not on the same level as INTJs. Seeing someone work hard on their goals is a sure turn-on for them.
3. Their Decisiveness
INFPs, especially INFP 9w8 and 9w1, find it difficult to be decisive because they want to accommodate others.
So, seeing how decisive INTJs are is a breath of fresh air. They might believe they can learn so much from them long term.
4. Their Aura of Mystery
Let’s face it. INTJs have an air of mystery around them, and INFPs can see that too. They might find their actions or their logic intriguing.
Their mysterious aura can keep the first sparks going for longer periods. INFPs will look to dissect them as slowly as possible.
5. Their Natural Curiosity/Intelligence
If there’s something INFP and INTJ share, it’s curiosity. INFPs will feel like they have a partner who’s interested in the coolest things. They will feel understood.
To them, it’ll be magical.
Why the INTJ will find the INFP Attractive
1. Their Curiosity
This is the same but for the INTJ. Not only is the INFP curious, but the outcome of their curiosity is usually different from the INTJ’s outcome.
That provides a new angle for the INTJ to explore. This makes the INFP attractive and fascinating to them.
2. Their Listening Skills
Despite using the introverted feeling (Fi) function, INFPs are good listeners. This is because they are genuinely interested in people.
So, when the INTJ starts talking, they genuinely listen. This is a big bonus in a world where everyone wants to shout their opinions to the sky instead of listening. The INTJ certainly agrees.
3. Nurturing Spirit
INFPs, with a few exceptions, are nurturers. They are sweet and kind. They genuinely care. INTJs are usually cold and aloof, at least on the outside.
So, seeing the warmth and nurturing personae of the INFP is genuinely refreshing. They’ll want to experiment.
4. Their Emotional Side
INFPs are feelers, and INTJs are thinkers. Yet, they both share the Fi in very strong positions. So, the INTJ has very strong emotions, which are usually hidden.
INFPs can bring out the emotional side of the INTJ. That requires a lot of listening and trust. If any type can achieve this, it’s the INFP.
INTJ will adore their boldness in embracing their emotional side.
Strengths of the INFP and INTJ Relationship
1. Shared Fi
INFP’s primary function is Fi, while INTJ uses Fi as their tertiary function. While it’s not a perfect match, it eliminates the immediate clash between Fi and Fe.
Thus, the relationship will be solid if both personality types have the same values and beliefs. The INFP will also be less inclined to please others as the INTJ will help them improve.
Because of their shared Fi, they will have a stronger bond.
2. Shared Love Languages
INFP and INTJ relationships benefit from having similar love languages. Quality time and physical touch are usually in the top 3 love languages for both types.
Thus, they will have little or no problems receiving and showing love. That part of their relationship will be effortless.
Both INFP and INTJ are intuitive. This means they both like abstract conversations that allow them to theorize and bounce ideas off each other.
Because INFP and INTJ lead uses Ne and Ni, their conversations will have spice and offer different perspectives.
When it comes to discussions, there’s usually no dull moment.
4. Space for Development
Even though both types have some similarities, there’s also space for growth and development. As earlier stated, their differences relating to Fi can help the INFP build healthier boundaries.
It can also help the INTJ identify their values and stick to them. The differences in thinking and feeling can also make the INTJ more sensitive and tactful.
It’s a win-win for both types.
5. Shared Social Batteries
INTJ and INFPs are both super introverts, with a few exceptions. This means they have similar social batteries and crave alone time.
So, none of them will talk the other to death. They will understand and cherish the comfortable silence if they live together.
They are the perfect fit.
6. Both have Rebellious Streaks
INFP and INTJ are both interested in new ideas and innovations. Thus, both are more likely to reject traditional ideas.
The benefit here is that they both share this tendency. If only one does, it can cause an imbalance in the relationship.
Weaknesses of the INFP and INTJ Relationship
1. Realism vs. Idealism
The differences start from how they see the world. Because INFP is an NF (intuitive-feeler), they have an ideological worldview.
This sprinkles down to their relationship. When the relationship begins, their partner is fantastic and perfect. However, once the relationship has gone on for a while, and individual flaws show, the INFP can get disillusioned with their relationship.
On the other hand, the INTJ is more realistic. So, while the INFP might have idealistic goals for their relationship, the INTJ will stick to their realistic plans.
The INFP will feel hurt. The INTJ will feel the INFP is being silly. All hell will break loose.
2. Structure vs. Chaos
INTJs value structure. They need to have their day planned and organized. This usually also extends to their homes. INFPs are different. While it is stereotypical to describe them as scattered, they are not as organized as the INTJ.
They are also more impulsive and chaotic. So, while the INTJ has planned their day, the INFP is more likely to ruin their plans.
With time, this irritates the INTJ, who just wants to live in peace. The INFP will feel hurt and withdraw.
3. Shared Fi Can Backfire
Remember how we said that their shared Fi is a beautiful blessing? Not always. Things can become terrible if they both have Fi but have a completely different set of values.
So, if both types have very strong feelings about an idea or a situation, it’s harder for them to yield. This might be a problem for INFPs who use Fi as their primary function.
4. Logic vs. Emotions
This is the most apparent difference. INTJs are thinkers. They make decisions based on logic and objective data. INFPs are feelers. Their decisions are made based on how they feel.
When both types are in a relationship, their approach to situations can cause friction. The INTJ believes logic is the best policy, while the INFP might feel the INTJ is too harsh.
This can quickly snowball into something disastrous.
How To Make The Relationship Work
1. Logic and Emotions Have Their Place
Logic and emotions have their place. So, it’s essential to consider when it should be applied. No matter what you believe, emotions and logic are both critical to being successful.
So, make sure you make room for both in your relationship.
2. Be Willing to Compromise
Using Fi means you have a strong internal moral compass. However, so does your partner. If you want the relationship to work, you have to make compromises.
If you can’t make those compromises, at least be willing to understand them and accept their perspective.
3. No Relationship is Perfect
For INFPs, it can be hard to let go of idealism. However, you must realize no relationship is a fairytale. Your partner will annoy you for the rest of your life, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
So, if you want the relationship to work, embrace and solve problems in the relationship. As long as both partners are not toxic, there’s hope.
4. Accept Your Partner
Finally, accept your partner for who they are. Accept their quirks and their strengths. By doing so, you’ll always think positively about them.
Frequently Asked Questions About the INFP and INTJ Relationship
Do INFP and INTJ Have Chemistry?
Yes, the INFP and INTJ have chemistry. The ability to hold good conversations and some shared love languages certainly help.
What does an INTJ and INFP Friendship Look Like?
The INTJ and INFP can be really good friends. They can help each other grow and become better people.
When two people are friends, their traits rub off on each other. That’s bound to happen here.
How Does an INFP Flirt?
INFPs can be shy when they like someone. They are also curious about the person. So, while they might not flirt openly, they try to find out everything about that person.
However, once the ice is broken and the INFP talks to the person, they talk a lot.