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INTJ and INFJ relationships are intriguing and fascinating. To some, this really is the golden partnership, or is it?
This article explores the initial attraction between these types and the strengths and weaknesses of their relationship.
Why Both Types Will Be Initially Attracted to Each Other
So, here’s why they might both find themselves attractive.
Why do INFJs Like INTJs
1. Genuine Conversations
INFJs are suckers for great conversations. They seek to truly connect with people, especially their partners.
So, when they meet the INTJ who’s blunt and has amazing conversation skills, they rock their world.
Attractive all day long.
2. Their Logic Side
INFJs are feelers. However, they have a strong sense of logic thanks to their introverted thinking (Ti) function.
So, they appreciate INTJ’s love for logic. Most importantly, they understand it. The INTJ is able to cover their blind spots.
This also applies to INTJs.
3. Shared Approach to Structure
Because they both share the judging function, both types like to live structured lives. Issues like being punctual, having a plan, or being neat are eliminated.
INFJs will be relieved to find someone who gets and implements structure in their life.
4. Their Soft Unseen Side
INTJs look tough and are pretty blunt. Plus, the INTJ stare is not too far away. This might make them seem intimidating.
However, stay long enough with the INFJ and they can spot their soft unseen side. Needless to say, the INFJ finds this attractive and mysterious.
Why do INTJs Like INFJs?
1. Conversations and More Conversations
Their love for conversation is a shared attraction. While they both love it, INFJs bring a different perspective to the discussion. Their perspective is emotional, yet laced with logic.
The INTJ will find this fascinating and unique. They’ll come back for more.
2. Most Rational Feeler
As earlier stated, INFJs use Ti as their third function. Some INFJs might even develop it further if they spend a lot of time with thinkers.
This makes them the most rational feeler in the MBTI world. It also makes them one of the few feeler types that the INTJ can tolerate.
The INTJ will not feel like they are walking on eggshells.
3. Their Sensitive Side
INFJs are still feelers. They have a lot of warmth to give. INTJs are thinkers. Their logic almost always wins.
INTJs will be attracted to this sensitive part of the INFJ. To them, INFJs are stable and emotionally intelligent.
4. Their Mysterious Aura
Admit it. INFJs are mysterious. It feels like you can never know everything about them. This is one trait that appeals to INTJs.
It keeps the relationship interesting. Soon enough, INTJs become hooked.
These reasons only apply to the initial spark of attraction. When the relationship settles, several factors come into play as we shall soon see.
Strengths of the INTJ and INFJ Relationship
1. Shared Love Languages
The first big strength is their shared love languages. This refers to the way you prefer to give and receive love.
Physical touch shows their need for intimacy. Things should move smoothly.
2. Communication is Great
Communication is pretty easy between both types. They both lead with introverted intuition (Ni). Thus, their conversation focuses on abstract concepts and the future.
They should have no problems with communicating. It’ll be a walkover.
3. Great Blend of Similarities and Differences
Being too alike or different can be a problem in relationships. INTJ and INFJ are perfect in this sense.
They both share the judging and introvert function. They also share the Ni and Se. Thus, they share several similarities and differences.
When both types are mature, they can forge a very healthy relationship.
4. Both Introverts
Both INTJ and INFJ are introverts. Thus, there’s little or no danger of one person draining the other. They will both be comfortable with silence.
Because the INFJ is an extroverted introvert, they are more likely to initiate a conversation. Both types will have the alone time they desperately crave.
5. For the Love of Intuition
As earlier stated, they both lead with Ni. This comes with several benefits. First, they both love abstract concepts. So, talking about these things will be easy.
This also means that none of them will feel drained by small talk. INTJ and INFJ will find peace in themselves.
It’ll be like magic.
Weaknesses of the INTJ and INFJ Relationship
1. Fe vs Fi
The problems start with the clash of Fe and Fe. INTJs are not feelers. However, the presence of Fi means they have strong values.
These values form their very core and they stand by them despite what others think. That’s their Fi talking.
INFJs use Fe. This means they put others first when making decisions. So, the INTJ will make a decision based on logic and stand by it stubbornly. INFJ will feel it’s wrong and selfish.
The INTJ will not yield. Sooner than later, the INFJ will perform the INFJ door slam. The rest is history.
2. Idealism vs Realism
INFJs are idealistic. They look at the world the way it ought to be. This also extends to their relationships.
INFJs have an ideal relationship in their heads. When their partners do not meet this image, they start to withdraw.
The INTJ, on the other hand, is more realistic. So, the INFJ might want to change or fix the INTJ. The INTJ will resist.
Soon enough, cracks will emerge in the relationship as the INFJ clings to their idealistic imaginations.
3. Logic vs Emotions
INFJ are feelers and INTJs are thinkers. No matter how understanding they are, there are bound to be disagreements. This usually becomes a bigger problem when one or both types are unhealthy.
Dealing with this barrier requires acceptance and a lot of communication.
4. Intellectual vs Helpful Ideas
While both types are into abstract concepts, the pattern of their interests might differ.
INTJs might be more interested in intellectual discussions involving economics or politics while INFJs might prefer other ideas that are more helpful.
Soon enough, the INFJ might tire out from the intellectual bombardment of the INTJ and vice versa.
If not handled properly, it can lead to misunderstanding.
How to Make the INTJ and INFJ Relationship Work
See it as an Opportunity to Grow
See your differences as an opportunity to grow. If you remain open to possibilities, there’s so much you can learn from your partner.
So, don’t give up on your relationship.
Focus on Your Strengths
While there are weaknesses in the INFJ and INTJ relationship, there are also strengths. To make yourself motivated, focus on the strengths of your relationship.
By doing so, you’ll never forget why you choose your partner.
Accept Your Partner
Accept them for who they are. Know their quirks and accept them. This does not mean you have to accept toxicity and abuse.
It just means you know your partner’s flaws and are willing to work with them.
Frequently Asked Questions About the INTJ and INFJ Relationship
INTJ and INFJ in Bed- Are they Compatible?
INTJ and INFJ in bed is a dynamic and exciting pairing. Both types are not afraid to experiment or try new things in the bedroom.
They can push themselves to new heights.
What are Some Major Problems of the INTJ and INFJ Relationship?
The clash between Fe and Fi and the struggle between logic and emotions are two of the biggest issues the INTJ and INFJ will face in a relationship;
Are INFJs and INTJs Soul Mates?
Any two persons can be soulmates with the right commitment and effort. So yes, the INFJ and INTJ are soulmates.