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INTJs are a lot of things. That’s what makes them intriguing after all. If you have an INTJ girlfriend, you see a different side of this unique type.
Are you dating an INTJ female? If you are, you’ll want to keep reading. This article discusses what to expect from your INTJ girlfriend.
How Does Dating an INTJ Lady Feel?
Having an INTJ girlfriend is a surreal experience. They combine traits such as loyalty, commitment, and dedication on one hand and logic, analysis, and blunt communication on the other hand. INTJ females go big on authenticity and you’re sure to notice it in your relationship.
While logic is a big part of their lives, you get to see a more vulnerable side when dating an INTJ female. She seeks reassurance while maintaining her independence.
It’s important to remember that no two INTJ ladies are the same. They are influenced by other factors such as their enneagram type or their attachment style. To fully understand your INTJ girlfriend, communication is key.
What INTJ Females Think About Their Relationship
What I want from a relationship is a safe space really. One where I don’t have to do the heavy lifting. Someone who listens to me and trusts my judgment but has a mind of their own. I struggle with expressing myself sometimes and someone who understands that matters. My top two languages are quality time and physical touch but I found out I really appreciate every other one. I initially had a more pessimistic approach to everything relationships but now not so much. I think the most I’ve gotten from this relationship is how it’s nice to be the one someone looks after. I really don’t have to do any heavy lifting. He understands my attachment style and his optimism is quite infectious. I overthink so that has to be understood and attended to. That is, telling me you’d be off for a while because of something so I don’t have to be overly analytical about it. I might come off mean to the world but not to him. He thinks I’m sweet so I guess when we’re comfortable with someone, we aren’t as defensive. I usually have to spell out my emotions since expressing them isn’t easy for me. “I enjoy spending them with you. I’m sorry if you can’t tell from my expression” and he understands. It makes me want to be more expressive.
What To Expect in a Relationship with an INTJ Girlfriend
1. Communication
INTJs are big on communication. This is the same with INTJ females. They need to bond with their partners through communication.
It’s also important to note that INTJ females prefer abstract conversations to small talk. If you’re someone who prefers small talk or focusing on the present, a compromise is needed.
Your INTJ girlfriend would also prefer blunt discussions. Beating around the bush will frustrate or irritate them. So, avoid doing that.
2. Love Languages
According to Thought Catalog, acts of service, quality time and physical touch are among their top love languages.
So, meaningful conversations, a good dose of intimacy, and doing things for them can go a long way.
3. Difficulty Expressing Emotions
INTJs are often said to be clueless about romance. One reason for this is because of their difficulties in expressing themselves.
This might make them seem rigid, shy, or even difficult. So, it might be a struggle for you if your love language is words of affirmation. The good news is that most INTJs are willing to put in the effort to make their relationships work.
4. Logical Stance
INTJ females are thinkers. This means that their first reaction will always be based on logic. This has several implications. First, your INTJ girlfriend will make decisions relating to your relationship based on logic.
If you’re a feeler, this can sometimes be insensitive. Secondly, your INTJ girlfriend might say things that seem too harsh.
Their logical stance can sometimes be quite infuriating.
INTJ females are independent and no relationship is going to change that. So, it’s important to understand that. They’ll have their careers, passions, and circle of friends. You need to give them space to explore these things.
Being overly clingy is a fast way of ruining your relationship.
6. Realistic/Pessimistic
Odds are that your girlfriend will be very realistic about life in general. Some might even say pessimistic. This might even include your relationship.
Now, this doesn’t mean that they are never going to change their minds. You just need to give them reasons why they should.
Considering how much you love her, that shouldn’t be a problem.
7. Sapiosexuals
Just like ENTPs, INTJs are mentally attracted to people initially. This is where meaningful conversations come in. Your INTJ girlfriend needs to know that her boyfriend is her equal mentally.
If you’re not up to the task, this can lead to significant issues.
Getting the Best Out of the Relationship
1. Meaningful Conversations
Make sure you have great conversations with them. If the conversation is right, your INTJ girlfriend can talk for hours.
Show her this is possible, and your bond will be stronger.
2. Prove Yourself Reliable
As previously mentioned, acts of service are one of their love languages. This means you have to be there for them consistently. They have to know that you have their backs no matter what.
3. Be Optimistic/Positive
Whether they admit it or not, they like an optimistic partner. It keeps them going and makes them happy. Be optimistic and reassure them when necessary. They’ll love it.
4. Take the Lead
Your INTJ girlfriend works hard at her job or career. So, when you have the chance, take the lead. Take the burden off her shoulders and take care of her. Do this and watch her eyes sparkle with delight.
