Love Languages- Acts of Service

Do you just love it when someone does something for you? Perhaps they brought you hot breakfast in bed? Or they helped you fix your pipe issues? If these things really make you loved and cherished, then your love language is probably acts of service.

So, if you haven’t exactly heard about the love languages, this simply refers to the way we give and receive love. This isn’t restricted to romantic partners. It also applies to the way you show love to other members of your family and friends.

Generally, there are about five love languages. These love languages were developed by Gary Chapman. They include;

In this article, we are going to focus on acts of service.

Acts of Service

Acts of Service as a Love Language

If your love language is acts of service, this means that you feel loved when your partner takes their time to do things for you. These things do not necessarily have to be romantic. They just have to be quite thoughtful and something that you appreciates.

For example, your partner might find washing the dishes so much more helpful than buying them food or dinner. The reverse could also be the case.

So, if your partner’s love language is acts of service, it might be a good idea to ask them what they would like you to do for them.

Just asking them what they like might solve a lot of potential issues.

Acts of service are often regarded as the opposite of words of affirmation. While people with words of affirmation are more interested in what you say, people with acts of service are more interested in what you do for them.

So showing a partner whose love languages are acts of service a lot of affirmation will make little or impact.

How Do I Know If My Love Language Is Acts Of Service?

The best way to be sure is to take the official test. However, other sure signs might prove your love language is acts of service.

Here are some of them.

1.      You Are More Interested In What Your Partner Does For You

This is the most obvious of all signs. You simply want your partner to express their love for you by doing things for you. It can be handling the laundry when you are tired or taking the kids to school.

The more things your partner does for you, the more convinced you are that they absolutely adore you to bits.

2.      You Show Your Love by Doing Things for People

Sometimes, we can tell what our love language is by simply understanding ourselves. If your love language is acts of service, chances are that you are going to show people love through acts of service.

So, you might be willing to cook for those you love, do that project for them, or take care of their chores for that week.

For you, nothing better exemplifies how you feel about your partner.

3.      Words of Affirmation Has No Effect

Except words of affirmation are in the top three love languages for you, it’s going to be a waste. You are not going to take seriously any words of affection except it is backed up by genuine support from your partner.

You are more likely to see words like “I love you” as a perfunctory duty. If your partner does not do things for you, then you are almost very likely never to believe their words of endearment.

4.      You Love When Your Partner Plans a Surprise Party or Vacation

If there’s one thing you love, it’s a surprise. For example, if your partner plans a surprise party or vacation, you are going to love it.

At that moment, what matters most to you is the effort your partner puts in to make the party work. That is even more important than the actual party.

10+ Acts of Service Ideas for Your Partner

So what if you have a partner that has acts of service as their love language? I have compiled some of the best ideas or examples for acts of service.

However, not all might fit your situation. So, you should focus on the one that your partner will find the most appealing.

1.      Go Shopping For Them

This idea almost always works. You can go shopping for them. While it’s nice to buy your partner things, this type of shopping is different. This has to be something that they usually do by themselves.

So, a more fitting type of shopping will be going to get the grocery. Do this regularly and they’ll love you for it.

2.      Make Them Breakfast or Dinner

You can choose to make them breakfast or dinner. I recommend one of these two as it is just when they have to push themselves.

So, making them breakfast when they are still in bed or dinner when they are exhausted from the day’s activities will be considered more thoughtful.

3.      Do the Laundry

Another chore that you can do for them is their laundry. This will be huge for them. Just make sure it’s a surprise. Let them find out by themselves. Watch their eyes light up in joy at the efforts shown.

4.      Pay Their Bills

Another way you can display some acts of service is by taking care of their personal bills. If you are married to them, this could be a bill that they are personally supposed to pay.

As always, make sure that it comes as a surprise to them. You will be surprised how happy they will be.

5.      Put the Dishes Away After a Meal

Sometimes, it’s the small things that matter the most. Clearing the table and putting the dishes away can mean a lot to them.

This is especially true if your family is a large one. They will be so appreciative of your effort.

Other ideas for acts of service you can totally try out include

  • Pay for the gas
  • Take the children to school
  • Plan a surprise vacation
  • Take care of the kids
  • Do the dishes
  • Take them out for dinner or lunch
  • Take your dog out for a walk
  • Buy their favorite book
  • Give them space after a hard day in the office
  • Take charge of anything that has to be planned
  • Make their cup of tea or coffee
  • Get them small but thoughtful gifts

The key to getting acts of service right is to use the element of surprise. However, make sure that the surprise is actually linked to something they have always wanted.

Things You Should Not Do If Your Partner’s Love Language Is Acts of Service

1.      Don’t Let Them Do All the Work

Never allow them to do all the work all the time. This doesn’t mean that you have to always do your own chores and then do theirs. However, try to offer to help them get it done sometimes. You’ll be surprised at the reaction you are going to get.

If you let them do all the work by themselves even when they are tired, they are going to start to resent you.

2.      You Don’t Show You Love Them

With people who have acts of service as their love language, actions speak louder than words. So, make sure that you show them that you love them.

So, instead of muttering the word, I love you, try to write them a letter instead. They are going to focus on the effort it took you to actually write the letter rather than the letter itself. This will certainly make them happy.

3.      No Surprises

If you are with someone whose love language is acts of service, then you should know that they absolutely love surprises.

However, these surprises should be things that relieve them of stress. So, giving them a gift that they didn’t really need will not be as effective as just doing their laundry.

So, keep surprising them with the right things. Your partner will always be happy.

4.      Don’t Bring It Up In Fights

Sometimes, couples fight. If you fight with your partner, it’s never a good idea to bring up all the things you have done for them.

This just negates the entire process. Next time, when you do things for them, it will mean less. So, make sure you play your cards well

Having a partner that acts of service as a love language can be thrilling if you know how they want to be shown love.

Umesi
Umesi
Ejike Umesi is the owner of Personality Hunt. He is an ENTP, lawyer and is very enthusiastic about psychology. In his spare time, he can be seen watching football or reading more about the enneagrams!

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