Love Languages- Quality Time (Complete Guide)

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Do you love spending time with someone you love? Just sitting there, sipping coffee and discussing everything that fascinates both of you? If you do, then your love language is quality time.

In case you don’t know much about love languages, there are five ways in which people tend to receive and show love for others. These love languages are;

  • Physical Touch
  • Quality Time
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts

We all have some parts of these love languages in us. However, one of them remains dominant.

How Do I Know If My Love Language Is Quality Time?

Quality time as a love language

Wondering if you have quality time as a love language? Here are some signs that this might just be the case

1.      You Love Deep Conversations

If your love language is quality time, you will love deep conversations. You will feel energized by them and be happy whenever you get it from your partner.

2.      You Listen A Lot

Quality time as a love language is directly tied to listening to your partner. So, if you are someone who listens and hangs on to every word your partner or loved one says, then you probably have quality time as one of your love languages.

3.      Alone Time with your partner is Incredibly Important to You

You crave alone time with your partner. Perhaps you just cannot seem to get enough of it. You are prepared to make shifts in your schedules and take certain risks just to be with them. You also want them to do the same.

4.      You Feel Incredibly Lonely When You Haven’t Spent Time with Your Partner

When you don’t spend time with your partner, you probably start to feel lonely. If this happens for a long period, you may start feeling that your partner has probably moved on.

What Does It Mean If Your Love Language Is Quality Time?

If yours is quality time, it means that you like to time with those you love. You feel loved when your partner gives you their time and focuses their entire attention on you. You are often more comfortable showing love to others by spending quality time with them.

It is important to understand the meaning of quality time. Quality time does not mean sitting with the person all day long. You could spend years with the same person in the same house and have no quality time together.

Quality time can also mean different things to different people. For some, quality time is being together physically and having a great conversation. For others, quality time can be a long meaningful conversation on the phone.

So, if your partner is someone who values quality time, the first thing you have to do is to figure what exactly qualifies as quality time to them.

If you are unsure of what your love language is, then you should take the official test.

How to Show Love To a Partner Whose Love Language Is Quality Time

If you have a partner that needs a lot of quality time, here are some tips on how to make this possible.

·         Listening

If you had to sum up quality time into a word, that word is listening. For your partner to feel like they have spent quality time with you, you need to listen. Listening is a word that can be misunderstood. Some people listen to others to give some form of reply. You have to truly listen before talking.

Of course, there are sometimes where quality time might not involve talking. Sometimes, your partner might just need you to be with them when watching their favorite movie or TV show. This moves us to our next tip.

·         Set Out Time to Be With Them

Spending time with people with this love language is so important. So, set out time to spend with them. Do not let being busy deter you. You will be able to make them feel appreciated if you can squeeze some valuable time for your busy schedule to be with them.

Without these plans, things can easily take a stumble in the relationship.

·         Never Cancel a Well-Planned Activity

If there is anything that makes them excited, it is going to be activities where they get to spend time with their partners. So, when you map out something for both of you to do together, don’t cancel except it’s really important.

When you cancel these events regularly, your partner will start to feel like you don’t love them anymore. They will also feel quite lonely and this will put a strain on the relationship.

·         Take Interest in What They Are Passionate About

People who love quality time will want to talk to you about the things that interest them. Depending on their personality type, this can be about their friends, politics, and entertainment. Try to take an active interest in what they have to say.

When someone has this love language, they can easily tell when people are no longer interested in the conversation.

Don’t be that person. Make sure your partner feels like they have been heard. Contributing to the conversation will only make things sweeter.

·         Eye Contact Is Crucial

Eye contact is really important. According to Gary Chapman in one of his numerous quotes, sharing eye contact with a loved one will make them feel like you are interested in them and what they have to say. They will also feel like you have unconditional love for them. Not looking them in the eye is suspicious.

However, before applying this rule, make sure that eye contact in your country is acceptable. In some countries and traditions, looking at people in the eye is seen as quite disrespectable.

Top Quality Time Ideas for Couples

hiking can be great for quality time

·         Plan a Vacation Together

If you want to spend time together, plan a vacation. Make sure you go somewhere where no one knows you or your partner. Don’t forget to spend quality time with them. It’s pointless if you go on a vacation and nothing changes for good.

Make sure you spend time together.

·         Watch a Movie Indoors

The cinema is a cute choice for date ideas. However, you stand a greater chance of quality time when you watch a movie indoors. Fortunately for us, Netflix has all the movies in the world to choose from.

So, set up a movie night with your partner.

·         Go On A Road Trip Together

When last did you feel the wind blowing gently against your face while seated in a car? Perhaps that is what you need. A road trip.

A road trip can draw you and your partner closer in many ways. So, try one some day soon.

Other ideas for spending quality time together include

  • Going hiking together
  • Watching the sunset together
  • Go on a mountain hike
  • Visit a park together
  • Have pillow talks
  • Go on a picnic
  • Play an online game together
  • Try cooking a meal together
  • Play a sport together
  • Have a workout session together
  • Read books together
  • Have conversations about beautiful memories

These are just some of the best ideas for spending time together. You can find so much more that is peculiar to your relationship.

How to Ask For More Quality Time from Your Partner

So what if you feel the quality time you get isn’t enough? How do you ask your partner for more quality time?

1.      Make Them Take the Love Language Test

The first step is to make them the love language test. You should understand that it’s not just about them giving you quality time.

You also have to love them the way they like to be loved. For example, if your love language is quality time and theirs is words of affirmation, you have to affirm them more often.

Once they take the test, send them some explanations and articles about the love languages.

2.      Talk about It

Once this has been done, talk about it. Make sure the environment is relaxed. Explain without attacking them why you think you need more quality time. Also, explain how getting more time together might make you happier. Who knows? You might be spurred on to also show them love in their preferred love language.

Explaining it calmly and lovingly will go a long way.

3.      Take the Initiative

Don’t wait for them to show more quality time first. Take the initiative and learn all you can about their preferred love language. Once you have done this, try to do all you can to make them happy with their love language.

Doing this will show that you are committed to making the relationship better.

4.      Strive To Add Consistency

Chances are that both of you will get off to a really good start. However, it’s not just about how well you start. It’s about the ability to keep things moving in the right direction.

So, strive to be consistent in your actions. Chances are that your partner will be more than happy to also return the favor.

When it comes to getting more quality time, you cannot control all the variables. Most times, you can only control your reactions.

So, make sure your reaction is a good one. That alone can change things dramatically.

Things You Should Not Do To a Partner with this Love Language

1.      Don’t Cancel Planned Activities

As earlier stated, these activities matter a lot to these people. So, canceling these activities might hit them hard. It can even make them feel unloved or attractive.

It can make them see you as unreliable or not trustworthy.

So, if you ever have to cancel, make sure it’s something really important. It might also be a great idea to give some sort of heads up become making the decision.

Just make sure that you often go along with the plan.

2.      Don’t Take Them For Granted

People who have quality time as their love language want to spend their time with them. They want to talk about their ideas and their dreams with you. NEVER take them for granted. Time is a very limited resource.

So, for someone to share that with you, it shows how much they care about you and the relationship. Taking them for granted is going to hurt them.

If it goes on for too long, you might even end up losing them. So, don’t go down that road.

3.      Don’t Zone Out

Listen to them. Try not to zone out. It will be very noticeable to them. They will look at your eyes and think that they are wasting their time.

So, make sure that you are ready to listen when you are spending time together. If you aren’t free then, it’s better to not spend time together. Spend time together when you know you can give them your full attention.

Quality time can be exciting. So, make sure you shower your partner with lots of it. They are going to love you even more.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Watching Netflix is not quality time at all! There is no connection and interaction with each other. Going to cinema is completely different especially if you need to get there together as a team and hang with each other before or after a movie.

    • Hi Charlie, It can be for some people. Some people enjoy reading a book in the park or just watching a movie together. Quality time can be sitting in silence or having a deep conversation. People differ and that’s the beauty of it all.

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