Love Languages- Words of Affirmation (A Helpful Guide)

Love languages are the guide to everything you ever wanted in your relationship. Have you ever wondered why people simply don’t get along in their relationships for no simple reason? It’s probably their love languages as work. Today, we are going to focus on words of affirmation as a love language.

First, let’s see if we can explain what love languages are.

What are love languages?

Words of Affirmation

Love languages is a term which was coined by Gary Chapman. They simply refer to the manner we like to receive and give out love. This means that when these people feel loved when their partners show them love through this particular love language. There are five long languages. These are

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch
  • Acts of Service
  • Gifts Giving

Words of Affirmation as a love language

If your love language is words of affirmation, then you are likely to appreciate uplifting thoughts and words. These words might be written down on a piece of paper or said in person or over the phone. The key here is that the words are both uplifting and incredibly positive.

For people who have words of affirmation as their love language, they truly believe the words they are hearing. They want you to express how you feel about them and it makes them happy. Therefore, saying really hurtful things to them can also be very devastating.

You should know that while a group of people’s love language might be words of affirmation, they might crave it in completely different ways. For example, one person might want you to praise them when they achieve their goals. Not saying these positive words might make them feel less loved. For others, words of affirmation could be telling them how lucky you are to have them by your side.

Due to these differences, it is always a great idea to ask your partner how they would like to be loved. Just knowing that their love language is words of affirmation is not enough.

Tips on Dating Someone with Words of Affirmation as Their Love Language

love languages

1.      Learn to be Expressive

If you plan on dating someone with this love language, then you have to be expressive. If you aren’t, you have to learn. There is no just getting around it. If you feel you aren’t expressive about your feelings, there are always different ways to improve in this area.

2.      Genuinely Respect Them

You have to genuinely respect them. While their love language is words of affirmation, it doesn’t mean that they accept every appreciative word thrown their way. Most people with this love language will know how to filter flattery from genuine appreciation.

So, your first point of call is to truly respect them. Make sure that they know you appreciate the things they do. Then, truly commend them for their efforts and their achievements. They won’t doubt for a second that you truly mean what you say.

3.      Be Proud of Them

Sometimes, words of affirmation don’t just have to be said to them directly. Words of affirmation said to others about them will earn you a huge smile. When you boast about their achievements to your friends, you leave them with a giddy feeling. They will certainly know that you are proud to be in this relationship with them.

In your bid to appeal to their love language, try not to betray their trust. Understand that somethings might be quite sensitive to them. Try not to say it in public or to your friends without permission.

4.      Show Compassion

For every one, tough times can be really hard to deal with. This is the same with your partners. They might be going through a very rough time. So, instead of offering praise this time, it is time to be there for your partner.

Try to place yourself in their shoes. There are several comforting words you can use to let them know that you are there for them in their time of need. We’ll talk about this soon.

5.      You Can Only Understand If You Listen

Sometimes, saying those words that light up their day or makes them feel better starts from listening to them. If you have a partner that has words of affirmation as their love language, you are going to know. They are going to leave you a host of bread crumbs for you to follow.

So, make sure that you pay attention to these signs. It can be quite priceless, to say the least.

6.      Stay Humble

You must stay humble when dealing with a partner whose love language is words of affirmation. They might be slow to respond to your questions and might need a lot of time to process their thoughts.

You have to stay humble in the relationship. Being humble will allow you to show your partner love in the way they truly desire.

7.      Don’t give up

After reading this article, chances are that you are going to get really pumped up. You are also going to try to implement what you have learned. However, it’s not about starting. It’s really about being consistent.

With words of affirmation, things can get really boring and fast. You can also start feeling weighed down in the relationship. One way to prevent this from happening is by mixing things up. This also adds to the spontaneous nature of your relationship.

Examples of Words of Affirmation That Can Be Used In a Relationship

words of affirmation

Now, we are going to provide you with some of the best examples of words of affirmation. We shall break them down according to the situation or circumstances.

Here are a few examples.

Words of Affirmation Ideas for Inspiring Your Partner

  • I love the way you listen to me. Thank you for being here
  • Your positivity keeps me going. I am happier with you by my side
  • You are so attentive to details. That’s incredible
  • I could never have done this with you. Thank you for being my number 1 person.
  • I trust you completely
  • You’re such a great problem solver. I really love that about you.
  • You are such a supportive person
  • I am honored to be by your side
  • I am completely blown away every time I remember that you actually chose me.
  • You bring out the best in me. I really appreciate that.

Words of Affirmation Ideas to Show Your Partner How You Love Them

  • I absolutely adore you
  • I love you
  • You are beautiful in every way imaginable
  • You make me feel so safe
  • I love the fact that I can always be vulnerable with you
  • You understand me like no other person.
  • I’m glad I have you by my side
  • I need you now more than ever
  • Your happiness remains my happiness
  • I will never stop loving you

Positive Words of Affirmation Ideas

  • Thank you for telling me how you feel
  • You are one of the strongest people I know
  • You are one of the few good people I know
  • Your mistake doesn’t take away the fact that you are in such an amazing place right now
  • I believe that you can overcome anything that you want to.
  • You have such a strong mentality. I just want to stare at you and admire it all day long.
  • I will always be here for you
  • You can count on me to sit by your side no matter the situation you are facing
  • I will never judge you for things in the past
  • I will always love and cherish you no matter how bad things become
Words of Affirmation

What to Do If You Need More Words of Affirmation

What if you are the one that needs more words of affirmation? How do you tell your partner that you need much more than they are currently giving?

Here are some tips on how you can do this.

1.      Make Sure the Mood Is Relaxed

Make sure that your partner is in a relaxed mood. You should also know the type of personality your partner has. The conversation is more likely to go well when both partners are completely relaxed.

Once you have achieved it, it’s best to bring it up in a casual way. That way, your partner won’t misread the entire situation.

2.      Talk about Your Love Languages

Sometimes, your partner might be a bit confused when you mention your love languages. So, talk about the five love languages with them. Make sure that they understand what it is about and where you are coming from. Fortunately for you, there are a lot of resources on the topic. If possible, make them take the test.

Once your partner knows where you are coming from, they will be more likely to take the matter more seriously.

3.      It’s Never Just About You

Talking about the love languages with your partner means that you are ready to love them the same way. So, while they give you a lot of affirmation, make sure you repay the favor.

A lot of people make the mistake of trying to love their partner in their own preferred love language. That just won’t work. So, make the effort to also learn about what makes them tick.

With the right effort and commitment, the relationship should get back to its best.

What You Shouldn’t Do to a Partner That Has Words of Affirmation as Their Love Language

don'ts of words of affirmation

Knowing the love languages also means that you know what won’t work for your partner. So, you should try to avoid it.

Here are five things that you should do to someone who has words of affirmation as their love language

1.      Never Criticize Before Affirming

Now, constructive criticism is a great way to see your relationship grow and develop into something really meaningful. However, with people with this love language, you really have to tread cautiously. The best approach will be affirming their feelings or beliefs first. Once this has been done, you can then present something that can be changed.

When doing this, you might want to start with “I really love the way you handle that matter. It was top-notch as always. Perhaps you could…”

Starting with a word of encouragement or an acknowledgment of their efforts is always the right way to go.

2.      Never Be Fake about Affirmations

A lot of people make the mistake of faking affirmations just to keep the peace. It’s not going to work. Sooner or later, your partner is going to find out. This can have bad consequences. They might start to feel that every affirmation is fake. This feels you without a good way to show them hope and erodes the trust in the relationship.

3.      Apply the Examples According To Your Situation

There are about 30 examples of words of affirmation in this article. Don’t just say them blindly. Make sure that what you say is connected to the issue. This need will easily be solved if you actually are being genuine about the whole matter.

The truth is that if you really feel proud of someone, you will definitely be willing to say nice things about them and to them. Once you start saying random things in a bid to affirm their feelings, they are going to trust you even less.

4.      Your Tone of Voice Should Never Be Mean

When dealing with someone who needs words of affirmation, the tone of your voice matters a lot. You could be saying something good but your tone will be saying something completely different. So, make sure you keep your tone positive and happy.

If you are not happy, make sure your tone of voice is directly at the situation and not them.

5.      Don’t Say Things You Don’t Mean

If you are going to say something, make sure you mean it. Therefore, it’s not a wise decision to blurt out hurtful things out of anger. It might take years and hundreds of affirmations before your partner will let this go. So, try not to go down that path.

Conclusion

Your partner should be one of the most important people to you. Treat them right by learning all you can about their love language. If theirs are words of affirmation, you’re already off to a great start.

Umesi
Ejike Umesi is the owner of Personality Hunt. He is an ENTP, lawyer and is very enthusiastic about psychology. In his spare time, he can be seen watching football or reading more about the enneagrams!

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