The Depressed ENFJ- Exploring the Shadows

Depressed ENFJ

ENFJs are the full meal. They’re charming, eloquent, and can be incredible leaders. I just spent a full week with my ENFJ friend. So, yeah, trust me on this. However, things go sideways when they become depressed. Are you a depressed ENFJ?

If you are, you’ve come to the right place. This article discusses how to spot depression in an ENFJ and recovery strategies to pursue.

Who is the Depressed ENFJ?

A depressed ENFJ is an ENFJ who suffers from clinical depression. This is marked by persistent sadness that does not go away. Depression is often classified as a mood disorder and this does not change with the ENFJ.

A depressed ENFJ might be moody and might harbor feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness.

Sometimes, depression can come without any outward sign. In other words, the depressed ENFJ might appear to be charming and inspiring on the surface. This can be disastrous as people will usually believe they are perfectly fine.

If you are an ENFJ who’s going through some form of depression, the first step to recovery is to get a diagnosis from a doctor. So, do just that.

Depressed ENFJ vs. Unhealthy ENFJ- What’s the Difference?

It’s important to note the similarities and differences between a depressed ENFJ and an unhealthy ENFJ. An unhealthy ENFJ is a stressed ENFJ.

In other words, stress or other forms of toxicity are making the ENFJ behave differently. Most times, unhealthy ENFJ can be people-pleasers or more ruthless depending on the cause of unhealthiness.

Depression is different. It is marked by sadness that does not go away. It can be present without any particular reason, unlike unhealthy ENFJs, where there’s usually a reason for their state.

How Does a Depressed ENFJ Act?

1.   Extreme Negativity

ENFJs are a fun bunch. They always seem to have a smile on their faces. Their optimism is a breath of fresh air. A depressed ENFJ loses that attitude. They become negative and very skeptical.

Some might feel like the future is bleak. Others might have no faith that an idea or project will work no matter how good it is. Life takes a dark turn for the depressed ENFJ.

2.   Withdrawal

Extreme negativity is often followed by withdrawal. A depressed ENFJ will no longer reach out to their friends. However, if you reach out to them, they’ll reply. However, the spark they once had will be gone.

They might seem more introverted. The once charming person might sound hopeless.

3.   Their Smile Doesn’t Reach Their Eyes

ENFJs are popular because they care about others. People love them for the effort they put into making others happy. Because people are often too focused on themselves, they might feel that their smile is no longer genuine.

A depressed ENFJ will keep smiling and playing it cool. It takes someone who really cares to point out this issue in private. If you think an ENFJ is sad or depressed, please reach out.

4.   Sad Quotes

Sad quotes and sad music are quite common when an ENFJ is depressed. A depressed ENFJ might post sad quotes and brush them off as “just a picture” if anyone asks. They might spend their day listening to sad music.

If no one reaches out persistently, the ENFJ might sink even deeper into depression.

5.   They Stop Caring

ENFJs care a lot about people. They truly live for human interaction. When an ENFJ stops caring or paying attention to people, there’s a serious problem.

A depressed ENFJ might see interaction as tiring. Even after depression, their caring nature might never be the same. This is one scar depression leaves.

What Causes Depression for ENFJs?

First, note that about 40- 50% of all cases of depression are caused by genetics. Thus, an ENFJ can be depressed because of their genetics. However, these are some of the other reasons for depression in an ENFJ.

Constant Manipulation

Being taken advantage of is more likely with ENFJs because of their caring nature. When this happens for long periods, it can take its toll on the ENFJ.

This can be a bigger problem if they realize the people they help are ungrateful. That hits home.


Constantly failing can drain the ENFJ of their charisma and confidence. They might start feeling success is important.

This is especially true at the beginning of their careers.


ENFJs are feelers. Thus, betrayal in a romantic relationship will hurt. If the ENFJ has invested much into their relationship, it can leave a mark.

Death of a Loved One

Losing someone in death hits the ENFJ hard. This is because they go hard for those they love. We all love our loved ones. However, ENFJs are one of the types that feel it the most.

How to Recover From Depression as an ENFJ

1.   Accept the Truth

First, you have to accept that there’s a problem. Once you accept that you are struggling with depression, you can then tackle the problem.

If you keep denying it, things can get really bad. As mentioned earlier, the first step is getting a diagnosis.

2.   Open Up to Others

Sometimes, talking to someone you trust can be crucial. This is hard for you because people often don’t care enough about you.

If you have one or two close friends, try to open up to them. A problem shared is a problem half-solved.

3.   Seek Medical Help

If things seem to be getting worse, seek medical help. If you have already gotten a diagnosis, you can see your doctor for more medical assistance.

Don’t take your health for granted.

4.   Practice Self-Care

You can also practice self-care. This depends on your background or situation. For example, managers can practice self-care by delegating. Doing exercises and creative activities can also help.

Just make sure you’re having fun.

5.   Learn More About Yourself

Finally, try to learn more about yourself. This website is an excellent place to start. There’s a database on ENFJs you might be interested in.

By learning more about yourself, you’ll learn your weaknesses and triggers. That can help you remain in control.

How to Cheer Up a Depressed ENFJ

1.   Be Supportive

Support your ENFJ. Ensure they know that you are always there for them. It’s important to be patient with them. Don’t judge or try to assume what their problems are.

Resist the urge to talk about yourself. Today’s all about them.

2.   Notice Small Changes

Truly caring for ENFJs means seeing slight changes in their behavior. Notice when their smiles are no longer genuine and when they start withdrawing.

Ask them what’s wrong and stay with them as long as they need. They’ll see you as a true friend.

3.   Help Them Get Help When Necessary

If things get too bad, ensure they get help. Be firm but tactful when explaining the need to seek expert help. With enough persuasion, they’ll listen. The key is getting them to open up.

A depressed ENFJ can recover. Never give up.

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