Enneagram 2s are sweet, patient, and loyal friends. You cannot fault the efforts they put in to enrich the lives of their loved ones. However, an unhealthy Enneagram 2 is a different story.

They become extreme, manipulative, and cranky. To some people, type 2s become a completely different person. Do you want to learn more about the unhealthy 2? If you do, you’re at the right place.

This article discusses the unhealthy Enneagram 2 and what you can expect from them.

What Does an Unhealthy Enneagram 2 Look Like?

Unhealthy type 2s are obsessive, territorial, and downright manipulative. It almost seems like their need to be helpful goes into overdrive. Thus, this personality type becomes insensitive about matters relating to privacy and boundaries.

For example, unhealthy 2s might become intrusive and very creepy. Their clinginess goes to the roof, and they will stop at nothing to get their way. As their unhealthiness increases, things get worse.

For a type that’s very helpful, their unhealthiness can be ruthless or even deadly to others. Several factors can lead to unhealthiness, as we shall soon see. However, the bottom line is unhealthy type 2s might become borderline obsessive. This obsession can be annoying, irritating, and frustrating to others.

The integration (to type 4) and disintegration (type 8) also play a role in their unhealthiness. In addition, the strength of their wing is the icing on the cake.

We will consider all these factors in this article. First, what can make an enneagram 2 unhealthy?

How does a Type 2 Become Unhealthy?

What causes unhealthiness in type 2s? Let’s consider some of the common reasons.

1.   Lack of Appreciation

Type 2s do a lot for their loved ones and even strangers. Because of this, they want to be appreciated. When this appreciation does not come, it can be a blow. Type 2s might feel nobody even sees their efforts.

With time, this can lead to a loss of self-confidence. Slowly, they can become cranky and even angry. Things can quickly get out of hand.

2.   Constantly Being Taken Advantage of

Believe it or not, type 2s are acutely aware of manipulation. In other words, they know and allow people to manipulate them.

The major issue they have is people manipulating them and not even showing appreciation for their sacrifices. I guess it wouldn’t be manipulation if they did show concern. Regardless, type 2s eventually get fed up with being run over.

When this happens, they become a different beast. This is when things start to get interesting.

3.   Being Abandoned

Type 2’s core fear is being abandoned. Thus, when their loved ones or friends abandon them, it’s a nightmare. It rocks their world to the very core and can have terrible consequences.

Type 2s can become very different people.

4.   Losing Loved Ones

This follows the last point. You can expect very similar consequences when they lose loved ones to death.

This is especially true when they feel their other loved ones neglected them during this period. Type 2s can become harsh, insensitive, and ruthless.

5.   Betrayal

Betrayal comes in different forms for type 2s. You could argue that being abandoned is a form of betrayal to them. However, betrayal here means actually backstabbing them.

For example, type 2s will be shocked if they find out their best friend made insulting remarks about them. While everyone will be affected to a degree by this situation, this hits type 2s harder. It makes them angry and possibly skeptical about the love they get from others.

Signs of an Unhealthy Enneagram 2

1.   Obsession

Unhealthy type 2s often take things to an extreme level. Obsession is normal here. For example, type 2s might become obsessed with their loved ones. They might call them within short intervals for no justifiable reason.

People close to them often feel suffocated by them. While unhealthy type 2s can sense their frustration, they believe they are being helpful. This is especially shocking when they have Fe as their lead function (ESFJs and ENFJs).

Obsession can lead to more problems, such as stalking their friends.

2.   Manipulation

When unhealthy type 2s feel like they are not getting enough praise for their effort, they can become manipulative. This can show up in different ways.

One way is by manipulating others to get the appreciation they want or need. Another way is to manipulate people to believe they are the best option or friend for them.

3.   Constantly Playing the Victim

This follows the last point. Type 2s can also play the victim perfectly. It’s hard to sense they are doing this because they always seem so nice. When unhealthy, they can use this as a form of revenge.

The problem is that the act of playing the victim is often not restricted to minor issues. Unhealthy type 2s can utilize this in serious issues such as divorce proceedings.

4.   Chronic Liars

Playing the victim works perfectly well because of how adept they are at lying. If they are ENFJs or ESFJs, their lies will make perfect sense and often appeal to your emotions.

Thus, unhealthy type 2s can cause so much havoc undetected. With a smile on their faces, they can ruin your life.

5.   Their Guidance is the Best

Type 2s care a lot about others. So, it’s natural they want to advise others. However, unhealthy type 2s cannot stomach rejection of their ideas or advice.

They become angry and irritated and might even throw tantrums when people refuse their guidance. In worst-case scenarios, this might lead to the end of their friendship.

6.   Everyone’s Best Friend

Type 2s are nice to everyone. Unhealthy type 2s do this with an extra goal. They want to be everyone’s best friend. Thus, when their friends have other close friends, it might make them feel less important or even sad.

An unhealthy type 2 might talk trash about other people just to climb to the title of “best friend”. I find this hilarious and silly, to be honest.

Enneagram 2 Under Stress (Type 8 Signs)

When under stress, enneagram 2 takes on some of the toxic traits of type 8. These include

1.   Controlling

Unhealthy type 2s will become bossy and try to impose themselves on others. They might become extremely controlling and clingy.

Their advice must be followed, which frustrates them when others refuse to obey their commands.

2.   Volatile

Unhealthy 2s become more vulnerable to anger. Thus, they might shout or scream in anger if it helps them in any way. This can also make them more confrontational and territorial in nature.

3.   Aggressive

Unhealthy 2s become aggressive even in the little things. Aggression here can be both literal and figurative. They become overly competitive and try to outdo others.

This behavior can be very distasteful. It can also make them seem childish.

4.   Rash Decisions

Just like type 8s, type 2s become rash and impulsive. They make decisions without thinking. Unlike type 8s, who make poor financial or life decisions, unhealthy 2s make terrible interpersonal decisions.

Thus, they start to lose their loved ones, who are shocked by their behavior. This can make them sink even deeper into their toxicity.

Enneagram 2 and Their Wings Under Stress

The presence of their wings can somewhat affect their unhealthiness. For example, 2w3s become less self-aware and can become even more rash and impatient.

2w1s, on the other hand, might become much more judgemental and self-critical. This is especially true after making poor interpersonal decisions because of their unhealthiness.

The bottom line is that it can easily become a vicious cycle.

How to Help an Unhealthy Enneagram 2

1.   Help Them Set Their Priorities

Let’s face it. If there’s one type that can get their priorities misplaced, it’s type 2. So, ensure they remember what’s important. They come first before anyone else.

Understanding this ensures that they place less emphasis on external validation. It also means they spend more time worrying about themselves.

This can reduce the possibility of becoming stressed by people’s actions.

2.   Always Communicate with Them

Make sure you listen and speak to your type 2. Make them understand that you are always here for them. They should know that not talking to them for a week does not mean you hate them. This is especially important if they’re close to toxicity.

3.   Insist They Get Help

If you cannot seem to help, insist they seek help. Mental health experts and therapists will help them get better.

They might become defensive. Thus, it’s important to be firm but kind during this period.

4.   Don’t Abandon Them

Remember that their core fear is being abandoned. So, if you choose to be friends with a type 2, never abandon them. By staying with them, you remove one reason why they can become unhealthy.

How to Recover as an Unhealthy Enneagram 2

Looking to become healthy again? Here are some things that might help.

1.   Practice Self-Care

Put yourself first. One way to do this is by practicing self-care. This simply doing the things that make you happy. For example, you can volunteer or set a weekly routine to exercise.

The most important thing is that the focus should be on you.

2.   Invest in Yourself

This follows the last point. Take time out to invest in yourself. Learn new skills and improve on existing skills. Take time to learn more about yourself. Personality Hunt is a good place to start.

Keep busy.

3.   Set Healthy Boundaries

You won’t need external appreciation if you reduce how much help you render. So, set healthy boundaries. Let your no mean no. Try to improve on your people-pleasing tendencies.

You’ll be happier in the long run.

4.   Seek Help

Finally, if nothing seems to be working, seek help from qualified experts. They can help you kickstart your journey to recovery.

 

Being an unhealthy Enneagram 2 is not the end of the world. It just means you have to love yourself more. You can do that, can’t you?