The Unhealthy ISFJ- Understanding the ISFJ dark side

ISFJs are the guardians of the MBTI. They are full of warmth, sweetness, and care. However, like all MBTI types, the unhealthy ISFJ can be a different story.

Here, we’ll take a look at who the unhealthy ISFJ is, how to spot one, and how to get out of the ISFJ dark side.

Who is the Unhealthy ISFJ?

The unhealthy ISFJ can usually be identified by negative traits shown. This can be caused by their background, trauma, or something else.

You should know that the weaknesses of the ISFJ and the traits of an unhealthy ISFJ are not the same. The ISFJ dark side has more serious traits that have to be dealt with. Also, the presence of one sign may not necessarily mean that the ISFJ is unhealthy.

When there is the presence of one or more signs, then the odds are way higher.

Top Signs of an Unhealthy ISFJ

1.    Passive-Aggressive

An unhealthy ISFJ will be ineffective in their communication. ISFJs usually struggle to express themselves. However, when they are unhealthy, this might get even worse.

Eventually, they will turn to passive-aggressive behavior. If they are married or in a relationship, they might give their partner the cold shoulder or silent treatment.

If not corrected, this can lead to the end of their relationship.

2.    Complaining without Actively Changing the Situation

ISFJs are famous for complaining about their situation endlessly. However, the unhealthy ISFJ will not just complain. They will also not act to end their source of discomfort. This can affect them in all aspects of their life.

This is compounded by their inclination towards people-pleasing. So, ISFJs might be extremely unhappy about an issue, but still appear to be the nicest people ever.

This eventually leads to more problems. There’s only so much someone can take. The ISFJ might eventually explode to the astonishment of their boss, their mates, or friends. They might also get depressed about their situation.

If left untreated, it can lead to other issues. If you notice that you are having these issues, it might be worth changing some things in your life.

3.    Critical

Unhealthy ISFJs are critical of others and themselves. For others, they are critical when it comes to values and actions they do not agree with. Unhealthy ISFJs see the world as black and white. This makes it difficult for them to be friends with people from different backgrounds.

They are also very self-critical. They can show warmth to others but have none for themselves. This can lead to a crisis of confidence and a lack of self-esteem. Self-criticism usually affects unhealthy ISFJs who are type 1s or have type 1 as their wing.

4.    Absence of Self-Care

Unhealthy ISFJs are usually caught up in pleasing others that they forget about themselves. This usually means they do not show themselves enough love.

This leads to other problems. They might end up not loving themselves or might feel they are never good enough.

If you’re experiencing this, it might be good to set up a self-care routine. Here’s a great article on how to enjoy more self-care activities.

5.    Absence of Personal Values/Opinions

The ISFJ dark side usually means an absence of personal values. ISFJs show a lot of care for others. When unhealthy, they might never take time to develop their own values or opinions.

They tend to mirror the opinions or personal values of those closest to them. This can be their family, friends, partner, or colleagues at work. This can leave them without a sense of identity.

If not handled well, unhealthy ISFJs might spend their lives acting on the opinions and values of people they respect. When this happens, they lose out on their goals and exciting adventures.

6.    Escapists

Finally, they will struggle with being an escapist. They might run away from their problems or focus on things that distract them.

This usually leads to more problems. Soon, the unhealthy ISFJ might find themselves in a bigger mess.

If you feel you’re an escapist, here’s an article that might help you snap back to reality.

How to Get out of the ISFJ Dark Side

Are you experiencing the ISFJ dark side? Here are some things that might help.

1.    See a Therapist

The first option is to see a therapist. This is really the best way to get yourself back on track. A therapist will help you to understand yourself much better.

Seeing a therapist might be intimidating at first. However, it’s worth the initial discomfort.

2.    Read More About the ISFJ

You should also try to read more about yourself. You can start by checking out this resource on ISFJs.

Knowing more about your strengths, weaknesses, and inclinations can be a real gamechanger.

3.    Be More Expressive

ISFJs struggle with expressing themselves. This is even worse when they are unhealthy. A great way to start will be talking more about how you feel. If you need time to process this, take it.

However, make sure you don’t keep the grudges in for days or weeks. Say it all out even if it causes a conflict.

4.    Take More Action

You know you deserve better. That’s why you complain. So, take action. Try to make sure you are treated right always.

Never take nonsense just to maintain the peace. It never brings happiness. You already know that.

So, make it a goal to take the right steps to change whatever bothers you. You’ll be surprised at how much it can change.

5.    Set Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are important. While one of your weaknesses is people-pleasing, it should not be a reason to become unhealthy.

You can learn to say no even when it’s hard. It just takes time and practice. Here’s a great article that can teach you how to do this in no time.

ISFJs are sweet people. However, being sweet doesn’t mean you have to be run over. Take control of your life right now.

Umesi
Umesi
Ejike Umesi is the owner of Personality Hunt. He is an ENTP, lawyer and is very enthusiastic about psychology. In his spare time, he can be seen watching football or reading more about the enneagrams!

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